A gift from God placed in the hands of Mary

From the beginning of my stay in our Religious Congregation of the Sisters of Mary Immaculate, I have led the religious life typical of the Sisters who are active. I tried to live and fulfill my duties as a religious. It would seem that everything was in order …

However, at some point in my life I began to feel unsatisfied, as if something was missing, as if my devotion to the Lord Jesus was not complete. I felt a kind of superficiality in religious life. I did not feel in my heart the spiritual depth and full union with the Lord Jesus. I fulfilled everything, but at the same time I felt a shallowness in my soul. I wanted to serve the Lord Jesus with the fullness of the talents that I received as a gift, but I was not able to fully define what the Lord Jesus expects from me and what I should do to make my life more meaningful. I wanted to see this path prepared from my Savior just for me. I also did not feel a strong bond with the Blessed Virgin Mary, Immaculate Conception, my Patroness.

I began to wonder if this is already routine, spiritual burnout? … Is this how my next life is going to pass? … Just thinking about it, I couldn’t accept it. Deep in my soul I felt a certain powerlessness. I did not have enough strength to shout that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. How close to my heart were the words of Psalm 63; 2 “God, my God, I am looking for You, ┬ámy soul desires you like a dry land” …

I began to earnestly ask the Lord Jesus to give me some light of discernment. I began to dig inside me and look for what was an obstacle that I could not run after my Lord like this burnt offering, even though I wanted to.

Thus began in my soul the time of interior searches to find obstacles that make it difficult for me to follow the Lord Jesus completely, to give Him everything, leaving nothing for myself.

One of the first steps I took at the beginning of this search was to find the Eucharist with a prayer for healing, because I felt the need to do so. Then I was offered to participate in such a Holy Mass. I made up my mind and went with the intention that Jesus would heal me with His spousal love and rekindle my love for Him in me. I wanted so much to possess Him and belong completely to Him.

Taking part in this Eucharist, I prayed for the intention for which I came here and with which I did not part in my heart. At some point, I had an amazing experience, as if such a spiritual touch from God, and I felt my heart flooded with unlimited love, incredible warmth, a feeling of complete security, joy and peace. At the same time, I had an inner feeling of Mary’s presence. Then tears appeared in my eyes.

From that moment on, the gradual cleansing of my soul began. This continued for several months as I gradually saw the changes taking place within me. I felt the Lord Jesus purifying me, healing me, removing my fears and pouring His light into me and giving me His strength.

I started to lead an intense spiritual life connected with reciting religious prayers with great zeal, reading the Word of God and full participation in the Eucharist, in systematic Holy Confession and in Adoration. I have participated in seminars, retreats, and spiritual formations, and this has given me strength and noticeably strengthened my spirit.

Now I can say that it was a time when Jesus taught me humility and gradually prepared me for the ministry of helping those who were lost in life. I also realized that by God’s grace, man must first suffer some kind of damage to his soul, experience complete helplessness in order to experience the truthfulness of His words, because “without me you cannot do anything” {J16,5}.

Experiencing such a state enables the soul to better understand those who are lost, sometimes even stood on the precipice of total destruction, who, after all, need help so much, but do not know where to go for it. Then you perceive more and you want to save such souls more.

In 2011, I met the late Father Andrzej Smolka, who was an exorcist, as well as my spiritual teacher. It was the Father who taught me how to pray, how to help those who need spiritual help, and at the same time he was an example for me.

A person serving in a prayer team for deliverance should: live in a state of sanctifying grace, experience an evangelizing retreat, should take care of his spiritual development, should be characterized by Christian maturity, holiness of life, humility and obedience to church authorities, approach the sacrament of the Eucharist and reconciliation.

Meetings with the Father were held weekly, every Wednesday. Various people came with the confidence that the Father would help them. At the Father’s side, my ministry lasted 5 years.

In addition, I took part in the Father’s retreat, in seminars, meetings, and systematically participated in the World Conference on the ministry of liberation organized by the IAD with the participation of exorcists from all over Poland and Europe, and ministers of liberation. Over time, the deterioration of the Father’s health forced him to resign from the ministry of exorcists.

In 2012, I was also offered to participate in the meetings of the Mamre community and since then I have been its constant supporter, I have accompanied this community all the time. I must admit that this is a Community that is undergoing a good formation, so it is spiritually strong. He also organizes a 10-day holiday retreat every year.

Currently, I am serving in Deacons deliverance prayers with Fr. Kristian Charchut – an exorcist.

Young people, and even children, through the mass media using subliminal programs that are used in music, computer games, and even fairy tales, are at high risk of becoming infected with occultism. Various amulets are spread more and more. Even through the lyrics of the songs, one acts in a manner designed to enslave innocent and ignorant human souls. The effects of this are later dire. People also look for solutions to their problems with various types of bioenergotherapists, fairies, magicians.

Spiritual service to such people is very much needed today. Young people and even adults are often lost. Also, the situation in our country is not conducive to anything good. There are no authorities, or at least they are not visible, because the loudest and best through the mass media is what promotes immoral, contrary to God’s Commandments and gives bad models.

Most often it is occult slavery. There are problems in families where there is no God and although there may even be material abundance, but there is no love. There are also pathological families where children and adolescents are left on their own.

I think that helping such people is also related to the charism of our Congregation, which is called to help those in danger of spiritual dangers, and participation in this service that I perform gives the opportunity to save those who have already fallen into these dangers. In today’s reality, the number of such people continues to grow.

I thank God and Mary for taking me to these places. Thank you for the priests with whom I have served and for the people I have met. I thank the superiors for allowing me to fulfill this ministry and for all those who support me with their prayers. For a change of heart, for a service in which I can participate and fulfill it, which is for me a gift from God placed in the hands of Mary.

Sr. Kinga