FORUMNEWS

Choice

God decided to go to Jaszkotle. Again, it was different than what I thought or planned. Namely, after working at our Nursing Home in Żerniki, I asked God to save the Nysa from a pandemic. It was a purely selfish thought because the DPS in Nysa is dear to me and I remember working there with joyful heart. However, I knew that when Samuel’s sister, the current Director of this House, called, I would not refuse to help and I already knew what this work was about. And it happened. Sister Samuel called … And because I was already a bit ready and prepared for such information, I knew what to do. I only agreed with My Superior Sister that I would go to the Sisters’ house in Nysa earlier, and then I would start working in the DPS. What a joy I met when I received information on the spot in Nysa that Sister Dominika is also packing and she will be with me. I was calm. There will be Dominika, there is Samuel’s sister, Anna’s sister, I know the house, I know the children, … I breathed even more when the next day, Samuel’s sister announced that they had made it, our help in working with sick boys was no longer needed. On the same day, in the evening, the phone rang. From the Provincial Sister … OOO my first thought: “where else do we have DPS?” Not DPS but ZOL in Jaszkotle. A short communication message only to sister Dominika – “Are we going?” “We drive”!

God wanted it … We were sure of that … But always for something … Why?

We went how we could do, we did and we came back. The space is only a dozen or so days … And so much has happened … Especially in me! In my heart, in my conscience, in my perception …

God wanted so, “chose …” so that I could “choose …” always for something, ultimately for me … I received a hundred times more.

So what could God give me for such a short stay among children? Children who are very sick and at the same time very happy. Suffering and yet smiling. Wounded, yet full of trust …

Sometimes, when I had a free time after work, I would take a child in my arms and walk with him, talking to them without much sense. But often, too, I would just hug these children and think about their parents. I thought differently … sometimes only with reproach … I looked into their eyes … How I would like to photograph them … keep in mind … leave it …

I got back home. I asked for a moment just for me. I wanted to rest… But it was not only about rest, as it turned out. I met myself. I heard it softly, and then loudly and louder and louder … Why do they not want them … I want Jaś, Mateusz … etc. I WANT! It’s not that God. They don’t want… for a million different reasons. And I…

Motherhood is one of the most wonderful Gifts of God … it is some form of Divinity in a fragile human being. I gave up… gave away… I chose… several years ago. What could I know about this when I was twenty. Theoretically only. The real choice did not come – just now. Choosing Life for Life … These sick little creatures are left for me today … They are my motherhood and prayer for me today. They are … like pearls for the world.

The house in Jaszkotle, the house in Żenikach, Nysa and all our other houses, where we have sick people, left behind and devoted to us, are enclaves of good in this world where “choice, not prohibition” sounds different to me.

S.M. Daniela Gumienna

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